Wedding vows - top tips
Here are our top 10 tips for creating your own perfect wedding vows.
1. Start with a clean piece of paper - with lines or without, the choice is yours...! Then, down the left side of the page, write the numbers 1-10. Now - without stopping to think about it, fill in this page - immediately! Write down the first ten things that come to mind in response to this sentence: "I love (your partner's name) because..." Set this piece of paper to one side.
2. Now, time to talk about you. What do you bring to this union of two people? You need to make some promises too you know. Take another sheet of paper and write 4 or 5 things you want to promise to your loved one. You could maybe think about these: Do you promise to support your partner even when he/she isn't perfect? What about if he/she gets sick? You get the idea...
3. Okay, you've got at least two pages of writing - now set it all aside. Do something else, preferably with your partner, preferably fun. To help make your wedding vows beautiful, simply step aside from the stress and thoughts for a day or two. Go out and remember why you love your partner. Go and play!
4. Done that? Now it's time to make a big decision - are each of you going to write your own vow, or do the two of you want to say the same thing? You don't have to...
5. It's time to go back to the papers from Steps 1 and 2. If you're working together, have fun sharing those pages. See where you overlap... Use highlighters to mark what you have in common - and make those promises and statements of love jump off the page.
6. Make sure you won't embarrass your friends and family with details that are too intimate or lengthy. Sincerity is the key; the words should come from your heart.
7. Think about incorporating your wedding guests into your vows by having them respond with their blessings and support.
8. Now, whether you're working alone or as a couple, it's time to prioritise. Which is fancy language for saying, "Okay, if I have to cut two of these promises, which ones will they be?" Nibble at your lists, removing things that are just a little less juicy, until you're left with three or four things you love . . . and about the same number of things you promise.
9. The vows themselves should only take two or three minutes (in total) to say to one another. Remember, this is a public declaration of your commitment, not a private conversation between the two of you!
10. Rewrite your wedding vows on a clean sheet of paper - it will make a difference, trust us. Then read your wedding vows to a trusted someone other than your partner. How does it feel to say these words aloud? Have you said anything you'd be embarrassed to say in public? Are there any tongue twisters? Once you've amended your wedding vows and ironed everything out, it's time to stop. Feel good about what you've done. Your wedding vows are one of the greatest gifts you'll ever make.
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